Lessons I Learned The Hard Way From Waffle House: Communication Isn't Just Speaking All The Time

If I'm being honest, deep down, I knew I wasn't cut out for life at Waffle House. The home of "scattered, smothered, and covered" requires a certain type of person, one who thrives on chaos and caffeine. That wasn't me, or at least not the version of me back then. (Well, maybe the caffeine part was me.) But here's the thing: even though I was a fish out of grease, I picked up a few lessons about business and life from the place that gave us pull-drop-mark and Bert's Chili.

My brief stint in management at Waffle House will always stick with me. Not because I was great at it - I was actually pretty terrible by most metrics - but due to the lessons I continue to carry with me from that season of my life. One of those lessons was about conversations and communication.

Now that I'm several years removed from my time at Waffle House and have the ability to reflect on where it all went wrong, I can say that my rigidness and lack of communication skills definitely hurt the team morale.

Communication isn't just talking and listening back. According to Communication Studies, "Communication is the act of conveying information for the purpose of creating a shared understanding."

Conversations That Mattered (and the Ones That Didn't)

A major life lesson that I took away from Waffle House life was realizing that not all conversations are created equal. Listen, I love to talk - my current co-workers can attest, I can and will chit-chat with anyone about anything - but not all conversations actually move you forward.

Low-value conversations? I had plenty of those from venting about tough shifts or employees calling out to random off-topic tangents or just filling the air with whatever was on my mind. Sure, that kind of chatter can be a mental break (especially after the Sunday morning rush, IYKYK), but if that’s all you’re doing? Nothing changes.

The high-value conversations - those are the ones that actually matter. Things like:

• What’s our mission?

• How are we going to reach our goals?

• Where can you grow, and how can I help you get there?

When you show people you’re invested in them - not just in yourself - that’s when they buy in. That’s when you find your A-team, the folks you actually want in the weeds with you at 10:30 on a Sunday morning after you've messed up your third Fiesta Omelet.

We had some great moments, but my mind is overfilled with so many low-value conversations that I know didn't help my team grow. In some cases, I feel I held a few of them back as they tried to move up inside one of the best companies a person can work for in America. (Seriously, if you thrive in a semi-chaotic state, please go look into a career at Waffle House.)

The takeaway, for me, is to focus on high-value conversations that help build and strengthen authentic relationships.

And honestly, this goes way beyond the grill.

Not Just at Work

If my husband and I only had low-value conversations (“What’s for dinner?” “Is the dryer empty?” “Did you pay that bill?”), we’d basically be two ships passing in the night. We’d never get aligned on the bigger stuff - our mission as a family, our vision for the future, our goals.

Yeah, high-value conversations take absolutely one hundred percent more effort. They ask you to be a little vulnerable, a little real, and to actually listen. They’re not as easy as rehashing the weather or what you saw on TikTok. But those are the conversations that build trust - whether you’re with coworkers, family, or friends.

Lesson from the Bible

Earlier this year, my pastor began a Bible study on the Book of Proverbs.

This Bible verse reminds us that to be in relation ("son") there must be communication ("words") of expectations ("commands"). In other words, we must convey information for the purpose of creating a shared understanding.

At Waffle House, I thought I was learning how to manage a shift. Turns out, I was learning how to manage conversations - and that’s a skill I still use every single day.

Header picture via Unsplash/Jodie Morgan

"My son, if you accept my words
and store up my commands within you,"

Proverbs 2:1